Edit: the title should say closeted bi guy** lol
Throwaway as the title says I’m a closeted (not really anymore honestly)
As a preface: this is very long, feel free to skip down to the sexual part. This is also a true story, but some details have been exaggerated or added based on blotchy memory.
To start this story I’m going to give you a little background. My friend who this story is about, and myself, are both early-mid twenties guys that met my freshman year of college, his sophomore. I’ve pretty much always (that I can remember) been a closeted bi-guy, but it’s never really bothered me. I watched some gay porn here and there, saw guys as attractive, etc. etc. but only dated and had sexual relations with women. Then I there was Ryan. We met my freshman year of college through the same frat. We immediately hit it off, he was like an older brother and best friend to me. He showed me the ropes of college, and greek life, and I just really loved him as a person and best friend. I had 0 sexual or romantic attraction to him. That being said he was definitely an attractive guy, no model or anything special, definitely good looking though and definitely the exact type of guy I’m attracted too.
Myself, I’m a 5’11“ average build guy, slim with a muscular frame. Always had a 4-pack, pecks and a V but almost never a 6-pack (except some summers where I was dedicated lol), but more built. Kind of more tannish skin, not too much hair. Ryan is the same height (maybe 6’0” on a good day), good looking dude with a great jaw line, beautiful blue eyes, and very slim. The kind of kid who can eat whatever he wants, never work out and remain slim. Yet he’s not a twink. His body has this build that looks like he’s very fit yet he hardly lifts. Slim all around, but toned and shape like he lifts (honestly a gifted metabolism and build). He also has a GREAT little ass. He has light skin that tans so easily in the summer, dirty blonde/brownish hair and is hairy in all the right places with the same dark-blondish hair color. Small amount of chest hair, happy trail, hairy legs and lower thighs, nicely trimmed pubes trailing to his happy trail and a hairless ass cheeks with a light amount of hair in his crack to his thighs (didn’t know these details before but we’ll get to that).
I never had a this attraction to Ryan during college, I don’t know why, we were just very close friends. Then after college I just somehow grew pretty much an obsession with him. I still remember the first time I thought he was hot, and from there it just progressed, and progressed, to being completely out of control. I consistently fantasized about him. We were close enough that I saw a lot of him and shared a lot of close connections with him. I had seen him shirtless and practically naked, his ass and all (never his dick in person though). At one point I was using his phone for whatever reason, and he left a video of him jacking off that he sent to his ex-girlfriend not closed out and didn‘t realize it (as I’m typing this I’m thinking maybe he left it up on purpose though?). I’ll never forget that image in my head, wished I was able to send to myself. I’ve always seen myself as a top if I were to ever hook up with a guy, but after seeing his dick holy shit that thing was magnificent. In the video alone it had to be around 7”-8” and very thick; cut with a perfect sized head. Everything about it was perfect. I would do anything for that. Everytime I saw him in person I think about ripping of his clothes, kissing his entire body, then putting that magnificent dick inside of me.
Sadly though, Ryan is straight. And I never wanted to ruin our friendship as it meant everything to me. So I never tried a thing. However, I always had this small feeling that he was bicurious, due to a decent amount of signals. I don’t know how to describe it, and I don’t think I necessarily have a good ”gaydar” but something caught my attention about it. It was never signals at me either, like he showed no sexual interest in me (again, second thinking that now as I type this LOL). They were just in general signs he could be bicurious. But again it wasn’t my place to explore his sexuality, or try anything as this he is one of my closest friends. I was extremely good about that fact, and did not want to push anything. I will say it hurt a lot though to have my feelings and never be able to act on them. This all changed this last summer.
During the summer of 2020 I moved to Colorado with another buddy of mine (during the peak of COVID), and I was starting a new job. I had about a 12 day break period between jobs and I was going to explore some hiking and camping. Ryan, being my closest friend decided to come visit during this time. Our buddy who I was living with wasn’t much of a camper, so only hiked a few with us but didn’t come the days we were camping. In addition, Ryan and I are both photographers (him more experienced and professional, and actually doing it for money, me extremely amateur and just nature shots), and wanted to get some good shots.
Ryan and I found a place to do some dispersed camping for 2 nights, about 2 hours outside Denver. The road to get there was tough, even for my Jeep but definitely a blast. The spot was beautiful, had a lake next to us, and hiking trails. The closest other campers were about a 200 yards or more away from us, maybe a little more, but there were quite a few people on the hiking trails during the day.
After a long exhausting day of hiking, the sun was setting as we returned to our campsite. Ryan and I sat in the grass/dirt next to the lake. It was July in late afternoon, and even at the high altitude we were at, it was still pretty hot. We both had our shirts off, relaxing with our feet in the ice cold mountain water and chatting until the sun began to set. The whole time I’m staring at Ryan’s glistening golden skin, lightly tanned from the sun, and chest hair shining with the dry sweat from the hike on his defined chest. When he breathes you can see the abs come through his flat stomach. We keep chatting, and I’m trying not to make it obvious, but I can’t stop staring at him up and down. God what I would do to that body, and let him do to me.
The night grew later and once the sun was close to setting, we started a bonfire. To give a description, this campsite was in a valley high up in the mountains, a dirt and grassy landscape, with pine trees here and there, and tall grass around a massive lake, which was about 20 feet from our little flat camp area. There are stones piled in circles for bonfires from past campers, which we used and pulled a large log up to to sit on. We cooked hot dogs on a stick (literally like some lame camping book or movie, I had never done that before until then, I usually brought a grill to camp).
The plan that night was to take some good Milky Way shots with our cameras (more of him showing me how to do so), since the weather called for clear skies and we were in the perfect spot for it. We sat around the fire drinking some Colorado craft beers (seeing as I just moved here it was only necessary) getting drunk waiting for the right moment of perfect darkness to see and capture the Milky Way on our cameras. The time began to approach and the air grew so cold, and we realized we both had gotten decently drunk, especially with the altitude effecting our intoxication. While sitting and chatting in-front of a crackling fire under the stars, moon reflecting on the lake, sounds of nature around.. it was beautiful.
I don’t know if it was the booze, but I just got this feeling that he was flirting. I really cannot describe it. The best I can try was he was super touchy (like patting on the shoulders, knee, etc) which he’s normally not to me *at all*, and he was staring at me a lot. Not like staring how I would look at him in lust from head to toe, but a deep gaze into my eyes. Anyways, I brushed it off and we eventually set up our tripods and got everything ready for the shots. Me being the novice, this was a lot about him teaching me to take this type of shot.
We’re a few feet from eachother, each on our tripods taking pictures. I just could not get mine right, and was struggling. I’ll never forget when he said “here, let me help,” as he walked over to me. His tone was so comforting, soothing, and caring. Something was different about it. As I have my hands on my camera playing with the settings he walks up behind me. His body about an inch from my back, and his face just over my right shoulder, I could feel his warm breath on my neck, giving me chills in the cold air. Then he reaches up and puts his right hand on my right hand, his thumb on my thumb, and fingers fallen inbetween mine. He begins to guide my thumb across the buttons, changing my camera settings. I felt like time had stopped in that moment. He had never done something like this. Everything was still. That 40 second moment or so felt like an eternity. My heart pounding out of my chest as he guided my thumb with his. Goosebumps all over me has his warm breath continued to caress my neck.
He got the settings where they needed to be, and then just stopped. No movement.. his thumb on mine, fingers intwined between mine. His warm breath on my neck, keeping my entire body warm. Silence, for again what felt like an eternity. In reality it was like 5 second tops. I stuttered the word “thanks” (literally stuttered, I haven’t even felt that trembling for a girl- you could feel the shaking in my voice). He took a good 3 seconds to respond, saying, ”try it out,” in this warm soothing voice he now had. Then he finally let go and stepped away back to his camera. I stood there, unable to snap the picture or focus on the sky.
I finally snapped back to reality and was able to snap a picture. BOOM there it was! My shot! My trembling self snapped into excitement as the Milky Way showed up on my display. And the evening returned to normal for some time.
After a few minutes, we had got the shots we needed. I, thinking about what could become of the situation that just happened, said “let’s grab some more beers and sit around the fire.” Ryan happily agreed. So, he goes and sits on the log, I go to the cooler and grab two beers. Me trying to test the waters, I walk over to the log and sit very close to him, where our knees have to slightly touch (there’s plenty of room to sit spaced out btw). I handed him his beer by putting it in his hand but make sure to caress his hand in a way that can be taken as sexual or not sexual, as to not go overboard.
We sit there and drink, talking a little about the photos, and editing, with Odesza playing softly in the background off my phone. Eventually, the talking turns to silence, and I notice that we’ve scooted even closer to eachother, to the point where we’re shoulder to shoulder, ass cheek to ass cheek, thigh to thigh. Inside, I am having a heart attack. I’m so nervous that I’m almost blacking out. I just have this feeling that this is going somewhere, and I don‘t even care about the consequences. *How can I further this but still not be the person to make the first move?* I think.
At this point i take a sip of my beer and setting my hand down on his knee. He doesn’t say anything. I slowly move my hand down his thigh, as we sit there. It seems like hours as I’m moving it in what is really minutes if not seconds. Next thing you know my hand is had his groin/waste. And I just sit there. I leave it. Next move is his. I wait, heart pounding so hard I can see it. Another eternity passes and he finally grabs the can of beer from my hand and tosses it into the fire. This is my cue.
With no seconds to lose, I start rubbing his dick through his pants. My only experience at any of this is through watching gay porn, so I am just winging it based off videos and what I would think feels good/what girls have done on me. The only thought in my head is: *make this worth it, make this a great experience.*
This whole time we’re looking at the fire. He finally grabs my head with one hand, and turns it and starts making out with me. Holy fuck. This is happening right now. This is it. I cannot believe this. His lips were so soft and smooth. Then he put his tongue into my mouth so aggressively, wrapping and twisting it around mine. I swear I could’ve passed out right there.
I start to feel up his shirt with one hand, as I want to feel every inch of his abs and chest, with my other hand all over his back. I can tell my hands were cold as he recoiled a little, but I warmed up under his shirt. I made my way with one hand back down to his waist. I unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans he wore hiking. He wore these tight little boxer briefs, that were almost briefs, which turned me on for some reason. I dove my hand into his jeans outside his underwear, and could feel he already had a semi. Holy fuck his cock. It was like I had everything I ever wanted in life and more. It was the best thing I ever felt, and I wasn’t even fully touching it yet. I rubbed my hand up and down to get him fully hard, caressing his amazing balls while doing so. This whole time we’re still making out. Which at this point was basically our mouths locked and tongues wrestling. I just felt so much saliva around my lips and mouth. Fuck.
Once he was rock hard I did not hesitate and put my hand in his underwear and began to jerk him off. His cock was smooth, thick, and if I had to guess about 7” as I imagined from the video, maybe a little shorter. His head was just a perfect size. Everything about it was perfect. My hand was warm and smooth and I could feel the sweat inside his pants and on my hand as I rubbed his cock up and down.
I finally broke our kiss, and we stared at eachother, no words said only heavy breathing into each other’s mouths. And then I made the move. I pulled my hand out from beside his back and with my other still on his cock, I got on my knees in between his legs. He sat up a little as I pulled down his pants and boxers to his ankles, exposing his waste, dick, balls, lower stomach, and thighs. I could see his fat cock and balls flickering in the fire behind my shadow. Fuck I can’t say it enough: that dick was perfect. I have seen good dicks in porn, but seeing this dick which I cherished and craved in real life did not disappoint one bit. I held it in my hand and stared at it for a second, took in that smell of sweat and musk from a day of hiking, then just went in.
First I grabbed it from the front and licked him from his balls to the tip. Fuck it tasted so good. I always imagined if I hooked up with a guy they would have to be showered and clean. Not him, I would take him any way, any how, in any situation. The thought of his sweaty cock and balls just turned me on. And wow did it taste just as good. It’s like normally I wouldn’t like this, but because it was Ryan, it tasted so fucking good.
I put my lips around the head of his dick and began to swirl my tongue. I heard him exhale. I knew I got him. I bobbed my mouth up and down just around the tip swirling my tongue, I swear he was twitching. Then I went to town. I deep throated that dick like my life depended on it. This was my first time and I was going down like I was doing this for a living, and there was admittedly a lot of gagging, but I just kept going. I’ll never forget that first time my nose touched his pubes, and I could smell him even more. Fuck I lived for this, for him. I went up and down, only stopping to pull off and jerk off his slippery cock while I licked and sucked his trimmed balls. Then just put his cock right back in my mouth and kept going.
As I was going to town, he was caressing and massaging my hair and head, quietly moaning. Then he grabs my head and pulls me off. I honestly almost struggled to go back to his cock like it was my lifeline. He lifts my head up and says “Let’s go in the tent.” He grabs his pants up and starts walking that way.
My racing thoughts: “Holy shit is trying to fuck me? Am I going to actually get to have Ryan cum inside me tonight? Is this real life?”
Then my rational thoughts kicked in. *Don’t guys need to prepare for anal? What if he is grossed out? What if he regrets it?*
On one end, I will make love with my dream guy, on the other it could go *really* badly.
My decision was that I would make the best of what I could, see where it goes.
Anyways, we get in the tent and the thoughts left my head quick and all that was on my mind was his dick and body. I crawl in the tent after him and past him as he zips it up. We didn’t turn on the lamp as the campfire was keeping the area lit, so the tent had just enough light to see what we were doing but not like a full on light. I remember him staring at me, and me back at him. His pants still down just past his balls. Mine somehow unzipped with my hard dick poking out the top of my spandex (seriously in all that I had no idea when I undid my own pants, or maybe he undid mine literally no idea how that happened).
I scooted close to him, both on our knees inches apart, the sound of our breaths and the crackling fire. I pull his pants down to his knees and put my hand back on his dick, it’s still pretty wet and started jacking him off. We lean our foreheads on each other’s, again breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. Unexpectedly, with one hand around my neck, he takes his other hand and starts rubbing my cock through my underwear. I honestly thought it’d be just me servicing him, but I wasn’t complaining. He pulled my pants down to my knees and starts rubbing my cock as if he’s exploring something new (which he was so makes sense). He scoots his body closer and puts both out dicks together and starts jerking them off. I grab his face gently, and start kissing him.
At this point the only thing keeping me from cumming is the booze.
After a few minutes of making out and him rubbing our dicks together (who really knows how much time is passing at this point honestly), he pulls his mouth away and mumbles “lay down.” So I lay down on my back, and as I’m doing so he takes off his shirt and pants fully, so I do the same and lay back down. I’m not sure if it’s our heat or our drunkness, but I originally couldn’t even feel how cold it was outside, until I was laying on my back, naked. As I lay there, he crawled over to me on his knees as I admired his perfect naked body in the dim flickering light, his big hard cock with a slight point up and his balls swaying back and forth. He turned his body and hovered over me in 69 position. Knees and legs on each side of my head my hands on his thighs, hard cock and balls dangling over my face. I felt some warmth again, and it was amazing. He grabbed my throbbing cock and I noticed he stopped. I peak down and he’s hold my dick, very slowly stroking it, staring down.
What is he thinking?
Well I don’t even give it another thought, I’m making this move now. I reach around to his ass with my hands and start to grab and massage it. I hear a little soft moan from him. And then I push down bringing his cock to my mouth. I open up and use my tongue to lick the tip of his cock and position it. I taste a small amount of precum. Salty, almost sweet. Tasted amazing, as I imagined. He lowers him self a little more and quickly pit his cock is in my mouth and bobbing my head. He’s still just playing with my dick, so I shake my hips a little and he takes the hint. He puts the tip in his mouth. I let a deep moan from my throat as his cock is deep in my mouth. He goes deeper and stops and starts to swirl his tongue. In between my moans, I start gagging on his cock as I’m bobbing my head. There’s some slobber but I don’t even care. He starts moving his hips with my face, making me gag harder. I have one hand rubbing all over his body, one massaging his ass, with my fingers getting close to his hole.
He’s on his elbows on the sides of my body, and takes one hand and is massaging my balls. I notice as he is his fingers keep inching closer to my hole. I’m a little nervous but anythings game at this point, and I can tell what he’s doing so I spread my legs a little. He doesn’t immediately move to my hole but eventually he moves closer. I feel it then, his middle finger on my hole, as he spreads my cheeks with his index and ring fingers. I let out a soft moan to let him know I like it. Meanwhile, he’s going very slow on my dick, but again I’m not complaining. He pulls his mouth off and spits on fingers. And goes back caressing my hole with his middle finger, dipping in just ever so lightly at first. He does this for a while, and then pulls back and spits on his fingers again. This next time he gets the tip in. I let out a little louder moan. God it feels so good. I spread my legs a little more as a hint to go further.
For a minute he’s dipping the tip of his finger in and out. It’s so wet with his spit it’s sliding so easily. He pulls it out and gives his fingers one more spit and goes back to dipping the tip in and out. And then he does it. He shoves his finger all the way my hole. I pull my head down and his dick flops out of my mouth ropes of spit connect it to my mouth still, and I let out a loud deep moan, and a “fuck.” He pulls my dick out of his mouth and says “you like that?” I respond “fuck ya.”
He holds it there for a moment wiggling the tip around, as I let out heavy breathing, his dick still dangling in my face, scraping my nose and lips. Then he slowly pulls it mostly out, and then up again. I let another loud moan. He does it slowly again. I keep moaning. He then goes faster, until he’s finger fucking me. I grab his dick and put it back in my mouth as I keep moaning. He pulls out puts more spit on his hand, and then swirls both his middle and ring finger around my hole, dipping them in to warm it up. It goes deeper. And deeper. Slowly he makes his way fully inside me with both fingers. My hips and thighs are shaking, and I’m moaning as I choke on his dick. My hands are grasping onto his ass cheeks, occasionally rubbing his hole as well.
Both fingers deep inside me, he puts my dick back in his mouth and starts to actually blow me. He’s having a hard time doing both simultaneously, so he’s kind of switching off finger fucking me and blowing me. It honestly doesn’t take long before I’m about to cum, and his dick is deep in my throat so I can’t say anything, just moan faster and louder. As his fingers keep going in, he has to be hitting my prostate, because this feeling of euphoria is nothing like I’ve ever felt before.
Holy fuck, my moaning keeps getting louder. I’m going to cum, I can’t say anything, I just moan, almost a whimper, as my dick begins to throb and cum in his mouth. He pulls his mouth off and watches as I continue to bust on my stomach, as he has his fingers fully in me fucking my prostate. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that much, it just kept spurting out. At some point, his dick popped out of my mouth and I’m basically screaming, “oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck.” My breathing is heavy, my heart racing, everything went blurry, and then I finally calm down, and the cum stops spurting. I hear him quietly say “fuckkk” and “fuck yeah.”
After what had to be the best orgasm of my life, I sit there panting covered in my own cum (and I’m assuming he swallowed some of it, as he didn’t spit it out). He slowly pulls his fingers out. I breath for a minute or so, with my hands just resting on his bare ass. I come back to reality, his cock and balls over my face come back into sight. I barely get it out, “fuck my face.” As I put his cock back in my mouth
He doesn’t hesitate, he wraps around my legs as leverage, our bodys touching and rubbing my cum all over us. He goes to town, fucking my throat as I sit there and gag with his balls slapping on my face, rubbing down his body with one hand and caressing his hole with my other. He starts going really fast, spit is dripping down my face, I’m gagging snd moaning. I can tell he’s getting close. I don’t know how much time passed but I would have let him fuck my throat for hours. Knowing he’s getting close, I use some spit from around my mouth to wet my finger, and I just dip the tip in and out of his hole.
I feel it then, he bucks his hips and shoves his cock as deep as he can. I choke as I feel his cum hit my throat. He continues to hold it there moaning and yelling “fuck.” I try to breathe through my nose as his dick is throbbing in my mouth, and I choke on his cum. He pulls back a little bit, but still rests his cock half in my mouth. I swallow what I can, and then swirl my tongue all around his cock, and start bobbing my head. His body then begins to convulse and shake as I keep going.
After a minute or so of doing this I feel his dick start to get limp. He hasn’t stopped grasping my legs, or moved minus his euphoric convulsions. As his dick goes fully limp in my mouth he finally rolls off of me, on his side, and still around one of my legs, breathing deeply staring intently into space. I swallow anything left, wipe off my face with my arm and hands, roll on my side staring at his limp cock and balls, still gorgeous even more so covered in my spit.
I lay there admiring his body from head to toe. *Goddamn you are one gorgeous human being.*
Our deep breathing calms down, and after some time passes with no words said he finally gets up, finds and grabs his boxers, grabs some water and some other things, unzips the tent and walks out fully naked.
I finally feel the cold again, as the brisk hair from outside the tent hits me. A small amount of anxiety comes over me. Where’d he go? Is he upset with what just happened? What’s going through his mind? He just walked out in the freezing cold in nothing.
I hear water pouring. Then a few minutes later I hear him putting out the fire next.
And then after a few minutes of silence, in which I did not move a muscle, he comes back in. His and neck chest is a little wet, and his hands too. He has his underwear on and he tosses me a water and his mini body wash and says “clean up.”
I grab my boxer briefs on and walk out and wash my hands off. I lightly wipe off my stomach and junk off with some water, and wash my hands with the body wash. Splash my face and all that. It’s fucking freezing and I begin to shake. Put on my underwear on. As I’m doing this all I hear rustling around in the tent.
I go back in using my phone as a light, I get a wiff of heavy muskiness and sex. I look around and see he’s made our sleeping pads bags and pillows into one bed. He’s back in warm clothes. He crawls in without a word. I put on warm clothes, and then crawl in next to him. He spoons me, and grabs my hand intertwines the fingers holding it close to my chest.
Shortly after he falls asleep. I’m so tired but I can hardly sleep. I end up sleeping on and off, we cuddled mostly through the night. I felt him get hard a few times poking my ass, but he was sound asleep. I wanted so badly for him to wake up and fuck me. I don’t know what time it was but it was still pitch black when I finally dozed off for good.
When I woke up in the morning I had a pounding headache, and was a little confused. I looked and felt around. I was alone in the tent. I took a few minutes to get myself oriented, drink some water, and remember what happened. I can’t believe that happened, it was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
I won’t bore you with any of the aftermath details. To sum it up, this didn’t completely ruin Ryan and my friendship but it put a heavy strain on it. Things were awkward for a while, nothing was spoken of and still isn’t. We talked a lot less for a good while. It was painful, but I think it was good. In that time I have gotten over him. I have explored more with guys, and hooked up with some girls. I recently came out as bi to some friends. I’ve truly come into my own after moving. I started dating a girl who is cool with me for who I am. He started dating a girl too, right after our experience. I think the strain on our relationship was good, as I’m not as attracted to him as I used to be and no longer feel romantically towards him, and I really like his girlfriend. I think we both got an experience out of our hook up that was probably good for both of us. We’re growing closer slowly again, but idk if we’ll ever be as close. I think if we ended up having sex, it would have been way worse so I’m glad we didn’t.
Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.